“Apuka” means “Daddy” in Hungarian. My loving wife last week looked at me, and named me “Apukalypse”.

I think this does not need further explanation. Only from her.


So we have a baby now. She is quite young, so she does not yet move around on her own, but the time will come when we will have a small human running around the house like a tiny banshee.
So I plan.
The stairs will obviously need to be protected with a set of baby gates, the shelves need to be fixed to the walls, the edges and corners will need to be coated with some sort of soft material. The doors, however, do pose some challenge: they are the fancy, glass door type. All of them have large, opaque windows set in.
Which does pose a challenge; after all, I can picture someone carelessly run into them.
When I shared my worries with my beloved she looked at me exasperated (she does think I fret too much): “perhaps we could attach those bird-of-prey decals to the glass they put on windows” she said rolling her eyes.

Since we have our baby, I noticed a weird reflex that had built up: I automatically slew the stroller whenever I stop for something. Even when it’s empty because my wife took the baby out for a quick change.

Or even if I have a shopping cart.

It turns out I have been lied to all my life. Apparently the well-known baby-smell is how the Johnson and Johnson baby products smell like. Since we do not use them our baby smells completely differently.

Now I feel cheated.