Well, after two years in the Civil Service I have come to an unwelcome realization about my choices.
When I joined up I expected I would be involved in decision making- setting the course on the fight against antibiotic resistance, being part of an advisory team, you know, being part of something that has an impact on the future.
Little did I realize that I would essentially be writing briefs and lists, doing finances and managing ongoing projects. Greasing the wheels so to speak. I know, I was naive.
So now I see that what I wanted was to be able to make decisions.
I realize now my error. I did not want to be a civil servant. I wanted to be a king.